Why Your Dog Doesn’t Like Every Dog (And That’s Okay)

New research shows dogs have “friend groups” just like humans

Many families assume that dogs should naturally enjoy meeting every dog they encounter. After all, dogs are social animals… right?

The truth is more nuanced, and new behavioral studies are confirming what many Pet Care Professionals have observed for years.

Dog’s form friend groups, have preferred companions, and feel more relaxed and confident around specific dogs, just like humans do. Not every dog is a match, and that is completely normal.

Understanding this can transform the way families approach socialization, playdates, dog parks, and even daily walks. Here is what the newest research reveals and why honoring your dog’s preferences matters.

Dogs Form Social Preferences, Not Universal Friendships

Recent studies show that dogs naturally gravitate toward certain dogs based on:
• Play style
• Energy level
• Communication style
• Age
• Body language
• Past experiences
• Breed tendencies
• Comfort level

Some dogs enjoy rough-and-tumble play. Others prefer gentle sniffing and calm exploration. Some like high-energy friends, while others feel safer with quiet companions.

Expecting a dog to like every dog is the equivalent of expecting a child to like every classmate. It is unrealistic and it creates unnecessary pressure.

Stress Levels Drop When Dogs Interact With Preferred Partners

This is one of the most valuable findings for pet families.

When a dog spends time with one of their preferred companions, researchers noticed:
• Lower stress hormones
• Softer facial expressions
• More fluid, relaxed movement
• Increased play bows and invitations
• Fewer conflict behaviors
• Greater emotional stability afterward

It is the canine version of spending time with your closest friend instead of a stranger.

These interactions are not just enjoyable they are emotionally beneficial.

Why Your Dog May Not Enjoy Random Meetups

Many families feel worried or embarrassed when their dog avoids or ignores another dog. In reality, your dog may be saying:

• “That dog’s energy is too much for me.”
• “I prefer calmer friends.”
• “That play style doesn’t feel safe.”
• “I’m not in the mood today.”
• “We don’t speak the same social language.”

Just like people, dogs have social boundaries and personal preferences. Respecting them builds confidence and reduces fear-based behaviors.

Dog Parks Can Be Overwhelming for Many Dogs

Dog parks are often unpredictable. Dogs with mismatched energy levels, unclear boundaries, or inexperienced owners may create overstimulating or unsafe situations.

A dog who thrives at a quiet park at 7 am might shut down at a busy park at 5 pm.
A dog who loves one-on-one play may feel overwhelmed in a group of ten.

Your dog is not being “difficult.” They are trying to navigate a complex social environment.

Play Style Matters More Than People Think

Matching your dog with similar play styles is the key to positive interactions.

Common play styles include:
• Wrestling and body slamming
• Chase and run
• Parallel play (playing near but not with)
• Gentle sniff-and-stroll
• Stop-and-start cautious interactions
• Tug and toy-focused play

When play styles clash, dogs feel stressed. When play styles sync, dogs relax.

This is why professional care providers pay close attention to the social cues between dogs, especially during introductions.

Some Dogs Are “Selective” Not Aggressive

Selective dogs:
• Prefer one-on-one time
• Do not enjoy chaotic settings
• Feel safer with slow introductions
• Avoid certain types of energy
• Thrive with predictable routines

This is not aggression. It is emotional intelligence.

Selective dogs often form deep, meaningful, loyal bonds with their chosen friends, just fewer of them.

How Families Can Support Their Dog’s Social Needs

You can make a big difference in your dog’s emotional well-being by:
• Letting them choose who they want to interact with
• Avoiding forced meetups with unfamiliar dogs
• Watching for stress signals like turning away or lip licking
• Prioritizing quality over quantity in social opportunities
• Scheduling calm decompression time after busy outings
• Asking your Pet Care Professional for behavior insights

When your dog feels safe, respected, and understood, their confidence grows.

How DOTR Professionals Support Social Comfort

A seasoned professional recognizes subtle behavior cues and tailors interactions carefully.

They help by:
• Creating calm, structured environments
• Avoiding overwhelming dog-to-dog encounters
• Pairing compatible dogs during shared visits or walks
• Noticing signs of stress or discomfort
• Communicating any shifts in behavior

Your dog’s comfort and emotional well-being always come first.

Your dog is not meant to like every dog. They are meant to feel safe, understood, and supported. When families honor their dog’s preferences, they create more meaningful social experiences and reduce unnecessary stress.

If your dog has specific social needs or if you are unsure what environments are best, our Concierge Team can match your family with an accredited professional who understands canine friendships at a deep, nuanced level.

Your dog’s comfort matters; and we are here to help protect it.